Why Some People Always Know What to Say (And How You Can Too)
You know that feeling when you’re about to speak up in a meeting, and your mind goes completely blank? Or when you start explaining something and somehow end up three tangents away from your original point?
Yeah, we’ve all been there.
After 28 years as a speech therapist and communication coach, I’ve noticed something interesting: the people who seem naturally articulate aren’t necessarily the smartest or most outgoing in the room. They’re just the ones who’ve figured out how to organize their thoughts before opening their mouths.
I call this skill the “Verbal Map,” and honestly, it’s been a game-changer for everyone I’ve worked with—from stroke survivors rebuilding their speech to CEOs preparing for board presentations.
What's a Verbal Map, Really?
Think about the last time you used GPS. You punched in your destination, and it gave you a clear route from point A to point B, right? A Verbal Map works the same way, except it’s your brain creating a route from your jumbled thoughts to clear, organized speech.
It’s basically your mental game plan for:
- Figuring out what you actually want to say
- Putting it in an order that makes sense to your listener
- Delivering it without losing your train of thought
When you don’t have this map, even simple conversations can feel like you’re driving through fog. You might find yourself:
- Saying “um” and “uh” more than you’d like
- Going off on tangents that leave people confused
- Feeling anxious about speaking up because you’re afraid you’ll ramble
- Having great ideas but struggling to express them clearly
But here’s the good news: this isn’t about being naturally gifted with words. It’s a skill you can learn.
Why Your Brain Sometimes Betrays You When You Speak
Let me get a little nerdy for a second (I promise it’ll make sense). When you speak, several parts of your brain have to work together like a well-oiled machine:
- Your frontal lobe plans what you want to say
- Another area translates those thoughts into actual words
- Your working memory keeps track of where you are in your explanation
- Other brain regions handle the rhythm and flow of your speech
When your thoughts are disorganized or you’re trying to say too much at once, this whole system gets overwhelmed. It’s like trying to run five apps on an old phone—everything starts to lag.
That’s when you get the word-finding struggles, the “wait, what was I saying?” moments, or that robotic delivery that makes you sound like you’re reading from a script.
How This Helps People Rebuild Their Voices
Some of my most rewarding work happens with people who’ve had strokes or brain injuries. Imagine losing the ability to say simple things like “I want coffee” or “I love you.” It’s devastating.
But here’s what’s amazing: when we break down communication into manageable pieces using Verbal Maps, people start finding their voices again.
Take Sarah (not her real name), a teacher who had a stroke at 52. At first, she couldn’t string together a simple sentence about her day. But we started with basic maps:
Who did something? → “I” What did you do? → “went shopping”
Where did you go? → “to Target” What did you get? → “groceries”
Within months, Sarah was telling full stories about her weekend adventures. She didn’t need to memorize scripts—she just learned to think in organized chunks.
When Smart People Can't Say What They Mean
Now, let’s talk about a completely different challenge. I also work with brilliant professionals—doctors, lawyers, executives—who know their stuff inside and out but struggle to communicate it clearly.
Just last month, I worked with a talented engineer who’d been passed over for promotion twice. Not because he wasn’t good at his job, but because in meetings, he’d either clam up or launch into 10-minute explanations that left everyone confused.
Sound familiar?
These folks aren’t lacking knowledge or intelligence. They’re just trying to download their entire brain instead of creating a clear path for their listener to follow.
Building Your Own Verbal Map: Where to Start
The beautiful thing about Verbal Maps is that you can start using them today. Here are some techniques I teach that work whether you’re recovering from a medical condition or just want to sound more polished:
The "Chunk It" Method
Instead of trying to explain everything at once, break your idea into 3-5 bite-sized pieces. Your brain (and your listener’s) can handle this much better.
Instead of: “So the project is behind because we had vendor issues and the requirements changed and also Jim was out sick and we discovered a bug in the system that nobody anticipated…”
Try: “The project’s running late for three main reasons. First, we had some vendor delays. Second, the requirements shifted mid-stream. And third, we hit an unexpected technical issue. Let me walk you through each one.”
The Magic Three-Part Formula
This one’s perfect for meetings, interviews, or any time you need to make a point quickly:
- Your main point (the headline)
- A concrete example (the proof)
- Why it matters (the takeaway)
For example: “Our customer service needs attention. Last week alone, we had 15 complaints about wait times. If we don’t address this soon, we risk losing our biggest clients.”
Create Mental Bridges
Ever notice how some people seem to glide smoothly from one topic to another? They’re using bridge phrases—little connectors that help their brain (and yours) stay on track:
- “That brings up another important point…”
- “Here’s what that means for us…”
- “Let me give you a specific example…”
- “The key thing to remember is…”
Embrace the Power of the Pause
Here’s something that might surprise you: silence is not your enemy. Those brief pauses actually make you sound more confident, not less. They give your brain time to organize the next thought and your listener time to absorb what you just said.
Who Can Benefit from This?
Honestly? Pretty much everyone. I’ve seen Verbal Maps transform communication for:
- People rebuilding their speech after strokes or injuries
- Professionals who know their stuff but struggle to explain it
- Individuals with ADHD who have great ideas but lose focus mid-sentence
- Non-native English speakers who want to sound more organized
- Anyone who’s ever thought “I wish I was better at explaining things”
The Bottom Line
Clear communication isn’t about having a perfect vocabulary or being naturally charismatic. It’s about giving your thoughts a clear path from your brain to your listener’s understanding.
When you master your Verbal Map, something magical happens. You don’t just speak better—you think more clearly, lead more effectively, and connect more deeply with the people around you.
In a world where everyone’s talking but few are really communicating, the person who can organize their thoughts and express them clearly stands out.
Want to work on your own Verbal Map? I help people across Los Angeles and online worldwide develop clearer, more confident communication. Whether you’re overcoming speech challenges or preparing for your next big presentation, let’s chat about how to get your thoughts and words working together.
Check out Shab Amiri Coaching, Speech Plan Inc., and Book a free consultation and begin the journey toward confident, connected communication.
Author:
Shab Amiri, MS, CCC-SLP, Certified Neuro-Cognition Coach
With decades of experience helping individuals of all ages overcome stuttering, Shab combines neuroscience, psychology, and speech science to deliver transformational effective communication coaching that empowers clients to express themselves authentically.
